June is Pride month, and DTE is honoring our LGBT+ community by sharing stories of members and allies. We talked with DTE employees Angela Williams, senior strategist, Gas Operations, and Vivian Ruffolo, environmental specialist, EM&R, to hear their experiences and why it’s important to celebrate Pride month.
“I was born an ally of the LGBT+ community, I just didn’t know it because it was natural to me,” said Williams.
Williams has always had openness toward everyone around her and was taught as a young child to speak up when she hears something that doesn’t sound right.
“I grew up around my cousin who identifies as a lesbian,” said Williams, “and seeing her with her partner was never anything unusual.” As she grew, she realized that not everyone was as open and welcoming as her family.
“It was hurtful for me to learn that lesbian and gay couples were not always welcome, because I couldn’t imagine someone not accepting my cousin.”
Williams sees Pride Month as a time to stand up for human rights and advocate for equal LGBT+ rights. “We have all felt like an outsider at some point. I was raised to be a friend for those who need one, to go talk to the person that’s sitting alone, because you never know what someone is going through and how your friendship can support them.”
“The LGBT+ community taught me to ‘treat people how they wish to be treated, not how you want to be treated,’ because everyone has different values and preferences.”
“I don’t feel like it’s up to me to condemn anyone,” Williams shared. God has blessed me with a big heart and desire to spread positivity. My faith doesn’t stop me from experiencing other religions, and me being straight doesn’t stop me from wanting to be a champion for the LGBT+ community.”
“I wish I had more allies to support me when I was coming out,” said Vivian Ruffolo, who has been with DTE for five years.
“I came out in high school after I started having feelings for a friend,” Ruffolo shared. “My experience was really hard, because the first time I came out to myself was when I began dating her.”
“It was a build-up of subtle emotions that eventually grew to be undeniable. My friend was out, but it was difficult to admit it to myself. As a small-town girl, I had been really sheltered, but she helped me realize there was so much more to life outside of the world I grew up knowing.”
“When we first started dating, I suffered from anxiety because my relationship was secretive,” Ruffolo shared. “I internalized many emotions. I wanted to share my relationship with my friends and family, because I was in love and finally felt like I related to them and their relationships, but I was afraid of their reactions.”
Ruffolo came out to her family and friends as a senior in high school. “I had some difficult conversations with my family, but they came around to accepting and supporting me,” she said. “I can’t express how important it was to have the support of my family and friends. That’s when I finally felt relaxed.”
When Ruffolo went away to Michigan State University for college, she was able to create a network of people she felt safe being herself with.
“When I met people who I didn’t feel I could be my full self around, I wouldn’t pursue their friendship,” said Ruffolo. “It was refreshing connecting with other LGBT+ members, and finally feeling like I’m part of a community and not alone.”
Ruffolo met her wife in college and has been married two years.
“We clicked because we were both raised with strong family values in liberal Catholic households,” shared Ruffolo. “We were together when gay marriage was legalized, and my dad walked me down the aisle.”
“I get a lot of questions about my marriage, and I take them as opportunities to share my experiences and help open minds,” she said. “We go through the same silly fights and happy moments that a straight married couple experiences.”
Ruffolo explains, “Everyone has a unique coming-out experience and faces different challenges, and people don’t always consider that we have to come out to every new person we meet, which can be exhausting. It’s important for the LGBT+ community and our allies to share their stories, because we need support, representation and equal rights.”
“Reflecting on the history of Pride Month, the 1969 Stonewall Uprising, I think of where we are now and how far we’ve come,” she shared. “50 years from now, I want people to look how far we’ve come from today. We’ve made some strides in politics, but we still have a lot of work to do to establish equity and fight LGBT+ inspired hate crimes.”
“Chances are there’s someone in your life from the LGBT+ community,” Ruffolo asserts. “Would you change how you feel about them, or would you become an ally for their safety and happiness?”